Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Who am I?

Who are you? Who am I?  What make me me, and you you? How are we at all different from each other?  What makes everyone different from each other is their identity, how they view themselves and how they show themselves to the world.  A HUGE part of our identity comes from our early years of life that we have no control over.  Our identity is formed by our community, our culture, our family,  etc, and even if we change our views we still carry a bit of them within ourselves.  As children if you don’t have this identity to latch onto, you often feel lost and completely helpless and could have major psychological problems down the road.        
In Wide Sargasso Sea, Antoinette has very little to latch onto as a child.  First of all, she has no support from her family. Her mother “rejects” her to deal with her own problems, her father is dead, her new step-dad completely does not understand or want to understand anything that is going on, and her brother Pierre is killed at an early age.  Second of all, the community that she grew up in and most “identifies” with hates her and her family and literally forces them out of their house and Coulibri.   As a child, this all is extremely psychologically damaging.  One of the most powerful scenes of the book is where Tia throws the rock at her face after the burning of the Coulibri estate.
“Then, not so far off, I saw Tia and her mother and I ran to her, for she was all that was left of my life as it had been. We had eaten the same food, slept side by side, bathed in the same river. As I ran, I thought, I will live with Tia and I will be like her. Not to leave Coulibri. Not to go. Not. When I was close I saw the jagged stone in her hand but I did not see her throw it. I did not feel it either, only something wet, running down my face. I looked at her and I saw her face crumple up as she began to cry. We stared at each other, blood on my face, tears on hers. It was as if I saw myself. Like in a looking-glass.”  (pg 45/41)
            This passage shows how much attachment Antoinette has for Coulibri and for her childhood life that is now completely gone. Antoinette most identifies with Tia and desperately wants to live like Tia and be a part of Tia’s community. But yet she can’t, as the thrown rock indicates, and is rejected by Tia and her community because of her family and race.  Having all of this taken away at such an impressionable age really tears apart Antoinette’s identity.  Who is she?  She is most certainly NOT English, but is not accepted by the people in Coulibri or really anywhere in Jamaica.  The wide Sargasso Sea literally represents this:
for it is in between the West Indies and England, but doesn’t have any real definite boundaries or identity, just like Antoinette.