Jason's inner-monologue of
things he wouldn’t say out loud very similar to my own (and I think everyone to
some sense) in that it honestly nails the slightest of social perceptions (like
sarcasm “below adult radar”, Hugo laughing “like I’d made a really funny joke,
so I grinned like I had”, “frowning smile”, how Jason watches the social ranks
and how people worship the “popular” people [49, 57, 61]). I think these are all perceptions that we
might notice in conversations and in our day-to-day life, but have trouble
articulating in such an elegant way like Jason does.
I also really relate to Jason (like everyone also) in how
he “self-edits” himself depending on who he is talking to – one of the lines
that resonated most with me was when he Gary Drake asks him why he is there and
he narrates “You can’t just say, ‘I’m out for a walk’ ‘cause walks are gay”
(77). There have been so many times when
I remember doing something (like going for a walk) when I was younger and
having to “make up an excuse” for something more “socially acceptable” I was
doing. We all self-edit our behavior to
fit the norm, but one of the things I have realized is that some norms are ok
to break. If I feel like just going
outside to just listen to music in the middle of a free period, why *not* just
do it? I, like Jason, often when just choose not to do what I want but what
other people around me deem what I “should” be doing. If I’m walking home from school and really
feel like skipping, why *not* do it? “It
looks weird!” is what keeps me from keeping to my boring walk – YET if I saw
someone skipping home would I also judge them?
BSG has made me question some
of my own self-editing hypocritical judgments.
