Sylvie Freaks Me Out (in a possibly positive way)

Throughout the novel I have felt a sense of unease, frustration, and fear towards Sylvie’s character.  This has confused me in many regards, but mostly because I couldn’t quite figure out what creeped me out so much about her.  I was intrigued by her philosophy towards life and really enjoyed trying to wrap my head around how on a geological scale everything human civilization does is just a little *blip* in the water (like the train sliding into the lake [like a weasel]). Everything we give purpose to in society eventually will recede back into the lake as nature takes control.  But Sylvie, unlike me, is not disturbed by the purposelessness of society and accepts that into her own life.  Sylvie’s purposelessness initially was what bothered me the most about her, but looking back on the novel as a whole I was most freaked out by something far simpler than that: her happiness.

            Many times in class Mr. Mitchell has eluded to how at peace Sylvie is and how happy she seems in the most uncomfortable of situations, which I read off initially as simply aloof dreaminess.  How can one be happy without purpose?  Our society shuns and discourages purposelessness for very good reasons.  Biologically our purpose is simple: to make sure the human race survives.  Yet, what is the point in that survival?  Eventually all will be gone, whether North Korea/Trump nuke the entire planet in the next four years or we last for the next ten thousand, it will all be the same.  So, in response to the inevitability of our eventual demise we find meaning and purpose by conforming to society’s standards and comforts (and discomforts!).   Yet Sylvie is able to reject these societal confirmations, accept the inevitability of life, and be happy.  That being said, I think someone who does not see purpose in life is not necessarily the best person to look after children from a “safety” perspective and emotional perspective.  What I find especially interesting is how Sylvie finds *purpose* once she knows Ruth might be taken away – a sign that she really does care and love Ruth just in ways that are so foreign to our society’s standards it is hard to wrap our heads around it.

  

Esther needs a friend!

Esther has major qualms with society and finding purpose in her life.  Reading The Bell Jar is extremely painful and frustrating when Esther’s frustrations seem so REAL and valid, yet no one in her surrounding society, friends, or family ever have any legit conversations with her.  As Esther is beginning to lose control of her body and life, no one really steps in to help her in any productive manner.  After she receives her rejection letter, her self-esteem for her “work-life” completely collapses.  Esther’s work life (and school) seems to be the predominant force keeping her moving forward, but as her schooling is beginning to come to an end she cannot really see herself in any career after she is out of college.  Since school is her “thing”, when it (and the camp) is removed from her life she does not see much left to it.  One could imagine the “pillars” of one’s self (sorta Inside-Out-esque), and her school/camp pillar would be the one supporting all of the other pillars up.  When this falls out, everything begins to come crumbling down.  (The cracks were already forming as her schooling is running out.)

As  “the hollow voice” takes over and detaches her from her friends and family, Esther falls further and further into depression, insomnia, and a variety of other really scary mental problems (not eating, reading, writing, etc).  Esther narrates her decisions as if she does not even have control over her own body: after Ester rejects Jody’s offer for her to still come live in their apartment and realizes that she “knew [she] should have said [she] would come.”  Esther narrates herself trying to call Jody back: “I reached for the receiver.   My hand advanced a few inches, then retreated and fell limp.  I forced it toward the receiver again, but again it stopped short, as if it had collided with a pane of glass” (118).  This is way more than Esther being a little upset about getting rejected from the program – this is all of the pillars of her life crumbling down preventing her from living. 

There is not one person in the novel that she can comfortably turn to and discuss her feelings openly.  Doctor Nolan seems to do the best job listening and understanding, but even that relationship is not one necessarily built on the best of trust.  Doctor Gordon is probably the most depressing part of the book for me.  Someone who she opens up and is vulnerable to, takes COMPELTE advantage of her and makes everything so so SO much worse.  He does not validate any of her thoughts, blames everything on her, and makes her pay one hell of a bill to have her tortured and imprisoned.   I really really wished that SOMEONE in Esther’s life would be willing to actually listen to what she is going through and help her not blame herself for not being able to deal with the meaninglessness of life.