Jason's inner-monologue of
things he wouldn’t say out loud very similar to my own (and I think everyone to
some sense) in that it honestly nails the slightest of social perceptions (like
sarcasm “below adult radar”, Hugo laughing “like I’d made a really funny joke,
so I grinned like I had”, “frowning smile”, how Jason watches the social ranks
and how people worship the “popular” people [49, 57, 61]). I think these are all perceptions that we
might notice in conversations and in our day-to-day life, but have trouble
articulating in such an elegant way like Jason does.
I also really relate to Jason (like everyone also) in how
he “self-edits” himself depending on who he is talking to – one of the lines
that resonated most with me was when he Gary Drake asks him why he is there and
he narrates “You can’t just say, ‘I’m out for a walk’ ‘cause walks are gay”
(77). There have been so many times when
I remember doing something (like going for a walk) when I was younger and
having to “make up an excuse” for something more “socially acceptable” I was
doing. We all self-edit our behavior to
fit the norm, but one of the things I have realized is that some norms are ok
to break. If I feel like just going
outside to just listen to music in the middle of a free period, why *not* just
do it? I, like Jason, often when just choose not to do what I want but what
other people around me deem what I “should” be doing. If I’m walking home from school and really
feel like skipping, why *not* do it? “It
looks weird!” is what keeps me from keeping to my boring walk – YET if I saw
someone skipping home would I also judge them?
BSG has made me question some
of my own self-editing hypocritical judgments.
I think a lot of readers, in retrospect, have realized how dumb some things we thought or believed as a child were. I think I still feel like I have to be "socially acceptable" in some situations today. Maybe in 2 years i'll realize how dumb I was when I was 16. David Mitchell really hit the nail on the head when creating the average 13 year old teenage boy in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteSome of our own perceptions of "socially acceptable" are judged by things we want to do but don't (like skipping home). The only reason there is inherently something wrong with it is because it's something we would think twice before doing. The self-editing in some ways can be more dangerous than peer judgement, and we all have to consider whether we care about being judged or feel like we should judge others.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up some really good points. Middle school is a scary time when a lot of kids are particularly judgmental. I remember feeling quite self-conscious as a middle schooler and can relate with you and Jason on "self-editing" myself to fit in better, because at that age, apparently nothing is worse than not fitting in.
ReplyDeleteEverybody's saying it, but yeah, reflecting on middle school years (and still now) I haven't been too willing to embarrass myself. Sort of because of what "is" and "isn't" normal/the social norm and partly just self image. It's weird to think about it if I just stopped caring completely about what people thought about me instead of mostly not caring. Good observations in the post!
ReplyDeleteBSG does a great job of pretty much calling out each reader, like everyone does it, but why? Just be yourself, and you'll be more happy. And Jason is a better person at the end of the novel when he realizes he shouldn't always have to do that.
ReplyDeleteYea I totally agree because... LOL SYKE I BARELY CAN RELATE I HAVE LIKE NO FILTER!!!!!.... is what I'd like to say. Yes, I don't filter myself as much as most people (to the point where people straight up think that I don't think when I talk -- which is fine with me), but there are some things I keep to myself. I can't think of anything at the moment, because it's true that I don't really care about who judges me, but... I'm sure there's something I keep to myself. I hope so. Then again if I were to post that private thing then it wouldn't be private anymore soooo I'm just not gonna say anything (totally not because I can't think of anything at the moment).
ReplyDeleteI do understand you though -- but as for blasting music in the hallways it wouldn't be a matter of people judging but a matter of disturbing the other classes I think. Well at any rate I guess I learned two things from this book: a) filters can be useful but excessive use may be too limiting and b) lol as long as I don't offend anyone I don't care who judges me.
But that's just me though and I'm weird so like feel free to disagree with me.
DeleteI know in middle school I had a similar attitude to you now. I had no understanding of the social definition of cool, so I felt no need to filter myself and... looking back I cringe a little bit. I think you pull off being unapologetically unfiltered waaaay better than I did, Anthony.
DeleteI think you bring up a very valid point, we never really grow out of self-editing, however we do grow out of certain things we choose to edit out. For instance, Jason's development hinges on the critical parts of himself he chooses to hide. This does not mean, however, that Jason's self editing is over.
ReplyDeleteYeah it really struck me from the first chapter how perceptive Jason is. Holden talks big game about being able to pin types people down, and he does, but Jason really gets the whole system: how everyone acts with everyone else. His internal sociologist is surprising in this mostly average, relatable kid, but I think its a reflection of Jason being a writer and a poet. Mitchell is trying to tell us an artist has to be perceptive of people's emotions and motivations. Jason 100% is.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really impressive how well Jason is able to capture these complex social interactions in words. This is, I think, pretty unique and unusual subject matter in fiction. Jason really articulates what everyone experiences in one way or another throughout their life, and I think that this is one of the most alluring aspects of this great book.
DeleteI really like what you chose to explore here because, to go into my own personal life, I've been very focused on the desire to self-edit and make up excuses to seem more socially acceptable. I used to do this wayyyy too much and the past couple months I've really focused on saying screw all that, just like jason started to do towards the end of the novel. It's made me a much happier and truer person and tbh I'd highly recommend working on just being you despite social norms.
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact that I spend far too much time inside my own head. Although i'm working on not questioning and judging my every action, I definitely related to this a lot. Obviously with Jason's stammer his self-editing is pretty intense, but I thought that these details were still relatable. I also like that we can see some of Jason's growth by when he is and isn't self editing.
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